We got picked up near the Hungry Horse by Johnny. He greeted us by saying do you think I'm going to chop you all up in tiny pieces? We followed are instincts and jumped in the back of his van. He took us to Fairford. Johnny was 43 and going grey. He took us to a reserved field where he played the saxaphone and gave us his theory on each one of us. He said he stopped because there was something magical about me. And I'm selfish because theres so much more to me than I let on. I expect others to poke it out. He said my friend Nat is misunderstood for being quiet and being very inquisitive all the time. When she doesn't really need to know the answers to the questions she asks. She's just filling time. "If I saw Natalie in a nightclub I would go for her. To pull somebody who looks me straight in the eye and I know if I said "wanna go back to mine honey?" she'd say "yeah sure" would be easy. To go up to Natalie , who's coming from up here. (holds his head) and take time to talk to this girl. If I got her it would be mind boggling. You know?" It takes a fucking great man to figure that out. Then sophie , the leader of the group was waiting her go. After his theory on Nat he started playing his sax again and Sophie looked hacked off he hadn't done her. He looked at her and said "sorry , you dissapointed? did you want me to do you next?" She said No but I think she was pissed. " I think you give all this self confidence, and all this crazy stuff out, but I think theres a big part of you that calls for your mummy".
Johnny took a shining to Natty. Me and Sophie got restless after 2 hours of listening to Johnny... so we ran around this feild for an hour being morons. When we got back to Nat and Johnny we got them to get up because we wanted to go somewhere else.
Johnny took us to Lechlaid .A random village with a river running through. We sat down in a feild with a bunch of swans and cows in it. Me and Sophie got high whilst Nat and Johnny chilled. This place was fucking awesume. Every now and then this bohemian couple would row past , the guy had a pony tail a beard and a fag in his mouth , the woman was all pierced. We'd chat to them until they sailed round the corner.
"what I want is a massive tub of Ben % Jez" " I want a fucking huge chocolate trif" "nonono you don't understand I want a fucking 2 pound spesh" (me and sophie talking about food) (standard) soph came up with a fucking brilliant idea to get fish and chips. We figured we wern't gonna get it and Nat and Johnny could because they were up for it. When they walked away we started sketching out about him killing her. not cool.
Then to our fucking HORROR massive amounts of cows were coming round the bend, AND FAST. "no no no, these cows Jess" , "I know Soph, we need to run"
So thats what we did, we ran away from all our backpacks. These damn ugly cows started crowding around are stuff, and drooling and snotting everywhere. VOM!
Then this bitch with her dogs started waving them away, so me and soph bailed back to our stuff with at 4 dirty cows hanging over us. And we had to wipe the drool off are bags.
it was getting late and dark , so needed to find somewhere to pitch. Johnny left us at 8pm .He didn't have a phone, so he said to nat to look him up on facebook. His name on facebook was 'ECO CHIC'. fuck that
After pacing around the feild for a good hour there was nowhere out of over peoples sight, and cows territory where we could pitch. So we started walking somewhere else, and it was pitch black at this time. So we walked into the village. This was the worst part of the trip because we didn't know what to do with areselves. We sat on a bench and tried to hitch again , but all these folks were coming home for the night. So at about 12am we headed up the road and found a large roundabout. This'll do , so we laid out the bottom sheet of the tent, got into are sleepin bag, pjam and massive jumpers. And went to sleep. Gotta say, thats the weirdest place I ever slept.
We got up at 10am and headed off into the town to find a loo and a shop to buy some water. (Oh yeah we had barely any money, we thought it would be better for the experiance) We walked up this huge road with this heavy muthafucker on my back. Then held out the good ole thumb to bag a ride. Carol stopped for us, this kind of eccentric older woman who we sensed was loaded. She was lovely, chattin to us about how she thinks what we're doing is fantastic. " I bet 80% of people have said your mad for doing this, but the fact is your not mad. People don't take risks anymore, its all health and safety this health and safety that. What your doing is something everyone should do, theres no harm in it". We totally agreed with this Carol.
She dropped us at stonehenge because we wanted to see it. She gave us a honey melon and beeped the horn on her exit. What a fucking decent womsn.
We didn't pay to get into henge, so we looked at it from the outskirts. It was epic, but I didn't really take it in because I was stoked from our trip. We sat around for a bit, thinking of hitching again with a caravan. Then we decided to walk up to the forest in the distance. We made a fuck off amazing fire, did us proud. Cooked beans, smoked some more weed. And chilled in this national trust forest which was whhhhhhhhhhhack. (testing out some new words). We then agreed we couldn't be fucked to camp another night so we'd make our way home tonight. After a couple hours in the forest we headed back down to the road and stuck out the thumb again.
A business mun' called John picked us up. Around 46, smartly dressed, sunglasses, decent car. Nice man. We loved John, he was funny.
